This afternoon El Hombre and I were driving to the beach for a walk when he randomly put Samba music on. Absentmindedly, I mentioned that my grandparents used to love Samba, and according to my dad, they used to dance to Samba randomly in the house. A few seconds after that thought, I told El Hombre that I am lucky to have had parents, aunts & uncles and grandparents who are in healthy, long-lasting marriages. My parents have been married for more than 30 years, and while their marriage has gone through it’s share of trials and tribulations, it’s still strong.
Now I know that the main two tenants of any relationship are trust and communication. That’s absolutely the truth. But you need a few other things to keep it going the distance:
1. You have to have stuff in common. While this seems to be a “duh” statement, once you get past the “new” phase of a relationship, if you don’t have anything in common, you have nothing to talk about or do together.
2. You have to keep up with each other. I am extremely high-energy. So are my relatives and siblings. If you can’t keep up with me physically (or mentally) then I get frustrated and bored.
3. You have to do stuff together. Sitting at home every weekend watching TV just gets boring. Even when we are at home, we are doing stuff in the yard, fixing up the house or similar. We also make a point to go out to eat once a week, and we travel throughout the year.
4. You should be best friends. Yeah you have your girls or your guys, but if you are in it for the long haul your partner really should be your best friend.
5. You should periodically fight. Because it’s normal. No matter how much you have in common or how close you are, everyone gets on each others’ nerves once in a while. If it’s all the time then that’s a different story…
El Hombre and I are looking at our five year anniversary in the next few weeks and honestly it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long at all. But more on that at a later date.